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10 February 2016 @ 11:02 pm

Summary: Kurt has a Plan; he’s going to go to New York City and study musical theatre at NYU. He will become a successful Broadway actor. He will date loads of interesting and witty guys. But then Kurt gets accepted to Carnegie Mellon University and falls in love with the program and the city of Pittsburgh. It’s there that he runs into Sebastian Smythe at a college party–former nemesis Sebastian Smythe. And suddenly Kurt’s Plans get changed, ever so slightly.

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~12k

A/N: This is the first time I’ve ever really written Kurtbastian, so I want to give a big shout out to Ashley for being my cheerleader and for reading this over.

From the Beginning / AO3 / FF

26 July 2014 @ 01:15 pm
Into the Night (with me)

Author: BlueJeanzAngel

Rating: G

Paring: Kurt/Sebastian

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot

read on ff.net

2.A Sympathy for the Devil

How could I tangle myself in this? –Kurt kept on repeating himself as he rode towards the Smythe’s. He had already gotten lost twice and was reconsidering his decisions. He could go back home and send Willa a polite text: ‘sorry, couldn’t make it, family issues’. Or something like that. –God, he couldn’t come back even if he wanted to, he was lost in the middle of nowhere and his GPS was not working anymore. Someone once said: When you have no idea where to go, keep moving forward; could such an encouragement quote be useful even to solve geo-location problems?
Also, why did they buy a house in the middle of a reservoir in the first place! The only form of life he had been seeing in miles were trees and birds.

While his head was busy searching for a plausible excuse to give his dad about why he didn’t go to the Smythe’s party – “I got lost and headed back” didn’t seem that good – he actually spotted some signs of life. The hint of a house. As he slowly approached, he could see it was not a house, but a mansion. A huge, majestic mansion.

As he stopped his car in front of it, all he could think of was: “holy shit”. He didn’t know how much time he spent staring the mansion –estate?– in awe, but in the end he was catapulted into reality by a knock on his car window. He jumped and turned his head towards the window, only to find a smiling Willa motioning him to lower it. As he did so, she greeted him and told him to leave the car in the parking lot which was a little bit further down the road. Willa may have noticed the panic in his facial expression ‘cause, without saying much, she nodded and reached the other side of the car, climbing inside
“Com on, I’ll guide you. Don’t worry, everyone gets lost the first time they come here”, she explained him, trying to make him feel better.
“How do you-?”
“Kurt, it’s almost 8. You were supposed to be here at 6”, she cut him and he blushed a little.
“How did you know I wasn’t going to show up?”, he asked then.
“You are nice human being, you would have texted me”
“You are good at reading people, aren't you?”
“Besides”, she added “I saw the look your father gave you the other day. There was no way you wouldn’t have showed up. At least without a really good explanation”.
“I’ll say that again. You are really good at reading people”
“Of Course I am!”, She replied with pride, “I wouldn’t be on the road to be lawyer if I wasn’t!”
“Oh, so I must beware of what I say before I get sued?”
“Ha, So cliché. But I am not an actual lawyer, not yet at least. I’m in the middle of law school!”, she explained him. “Here, do you see that empty spot over there? You can park your car there”, she exclaimed, pointing at an empty spot in the private parking lot –right next to a silver SLK Mercedes.

“This place is amazing! Beyond amazing, actually!”, he commented as they got down the car.
“Just a little bit isolated here in the middle of the woods but, don’t get me wrong, the bumpy road and all is totally worth it”. He smiled at Willa and, as he recalled the awful time he had trying to reach the place, he understood why Sebastian didn’t wanted his parents to drive him home that night. They would have gotten lost and disappeared forever.
Also, the fact that someone like Sebastian had been capable of showing so much care about the neighbor… left Kurt pleasingly astonished.
“Don’t you fear of I don’t know serial killers? Wolves?”, he said pointing at the woods that confined to the house. At his words Willa started to laugh loudly.
“Don’t worry”, she said at last “the only wolves here are my brothers and the only serial killer would be me, when they make me angry!”.

It was then that a simple realization struck him. They were not living in the middle of a wood. They owned the wood.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, it’s wonderful!”, Kurt continued as they approached the front door. “But wait a second, did you say brothers?”.
“Indeed. Sebastian is the youngest, then there’s me and dulcis in fundo Ollie, who’s supposed to be the bigger and wiser of all of us”
“Who’s the bigger and wiser of us?”, a male voice asked. Kurt turned his head to the right to face a beautiful, beautiful young man, probably in his late twenties.
–The Smythes genes were good ones, he observed. Really, Really good ones.

“Not you, big brother!”, Willa replied. “Ollie, this is Kurt. Kurt meet Ollie. Possibly the dumbest brother I’ll ever have”
“Thank you, Will”, he said
“Stop calling me that!”, Willa exclaimed annoyed.
“Like what?!”, he responded, putting up an innocent face.
“You know”, she pointed out crossing her arms around her chest
“I’m sorry, miss Wilhelma Smythe of ball-buster"
“I hate you”
“I know you do”
Kurt thought they could have gone back and forth like that for a while. At least now he knew where Sebastian had learned to play his teasing game. Feeling that would have lasted for ever if no one stopped them, he cleared his throat to remind them he was standing there beside them.

“Oh, sorry. I’m Oliver. Don’t listen to her. Everything she said about me is false. Except for the fact I am astonishingly charming. That part is true”.
“Have you started memorizing the words in the dictionary again?”, Willa teased him. Oliver snapped his tongue and gave her an offended look. A few instants after they started laughing in unison.
“Come on Kurt, let’s get this party started”, she exclaimed and guided him towards the pool. They didn’t came in from the main entrance “I want to show you the scenic path”, Willa had explained. The walked past the front and reached the back garden.
Well, the back lake – to be precise. The Smythe’s estate was beautifully inserted in a clearing. A lake separated the mansion from the woods. The view was indeed scenic.

From a back door they entered the house and the two siblings led him towards the inner (but outside) pool, located in the heart of the “house”.
Sebastian was very lucky. More than Kurt could have expected him to be. –Speaking of which, the place was full of people (thirty? forty? maybe more, it was had to tell) but Sebastian was nowhere to be seen; he looked among the crowd but couldn’t spot him.
Willa must have noticed him scanning through the crowd, since she pointed out:
“Sebastian is not here”.
“Oh”, Kurt said and a strange feeling overwhelmed him. –Was that disappointment? Was he really disappointed that Sebastian was not there? Again, Willa must have noted his inner change of mood –Was he really that an open book to her?
“Sorry, I meant he is not down here.”
“Bear with him. He’s in a bad mood”, Oliver intervened “like all the time”. Willa shook him a look and spoke:
“Oh, don’t listen to him. He’ll come down anytime soon. In the meanwhile, will you have something to drink?”. Kurt was not only feeling uncomfortable, all alone in a huge place where he knew no one, but was also getting more and more “curious” –or rather intrigued – by Sebastian and his whole life. He couldn’t explain why, but he wanted to know more. It may be because of the beaten down version of him he had seen the previous week, or because of the aloof of mystery surrounding him. He didn’t know. What he knew, though, was the stingy feeling he had felt in his guts since he had discovered he was not there, exacerbated by the fact he was not in the mood to be there. What was that supposed to mean? And, mostly, why did he cared?
The quickest and simpler explanation he could come up with was that he had wanted to see him because needed to see he was okay. As for a few days ago, when he woke up and realized he couldn’t let the thought of him go ‘till he was sure he was okay, it was no different this time.
He thought that he was going to let him be only if he saw with his own eyes that was he was okay and that he had imagined it all, the pain and the emptiness he had seen in his eyes –would he ever forget his gaze on him of that night?.

Yes, that was the simpler explanation he could think of. But also the only one bearing less complications to his life. He admitted wanting to see the Spawn of Satan, but it was for a good cause, to clear his conscience or something like that. And the disappointment he had felt was due to the fact that he had missed chance to find out he was okay and, thus, finally free his head from his annoying presence.
Yeah, his feelings were totally messing with his brain.

“Earth to Kurt… Are you with us?”, Willa was saying. –God, he should stop overthinking.
“Yeah, sorry, I… wasn’t paying attention”
“Okay”, she said softly, looking at him as if she wanted to read his thoughts.
“What were you saying?”
“I was asking you if you wanted something to drink. Ollie here makes the best cocktails in the whole State of Ohio”
“Well, I wouldn’t miss the chance!”, he replied distractedly and followed them towards the open bar. Without the annoying presence of the only person he actually knew for more than a few days, he was feeling more out of place than ever, surrounded by all these wealthy people, all part of an élite Kurt could never be part of. He suddenly felt like an intruder, a stranger to anyone, in every possible way since there wasn’t a thing he and all these people could share. What was he going to talk about with Willa, or Oliver or anyone? About his college life at NYADA, his knowledge of cars due to his father’s mechanic shop?
Willa was nice and Oliver was fun but, there was nothing he actually partaged with these rich élite kids which lived so far away from him; and he was not talking of the physical distance but rather of the “spiritual” one. They grew up and lived in different planets and there was no bridge that could possibly cut that distance.
He suddenly felt as if he was lacking air and excused himself to the restroom.
Willa wasted no time catching up with him
“Feeling a little out of place?”, she questioned and he looked at her bewildered. “I am very good at reading people, remember?”. He limited himself to smile.
“Just needed some… I don’t know… I know nobody and I panicked”
“It’s okay. I understand the feeling, more than you you’d think. I know less than 1/3 of the people in here”, she admitted sympathetically. “Do you even know where the restroom is?”, she asked, changing the topic.
“No idea”
“Come on, I’ll show you and Kurt”, she added “Don’t let your overthinking prevent you from having a good time…”
“Thanks for the advice…I’ll do my best to avoid that”
“Oh that was quick! I didn’t think you’d agree with me that easily! I tell this to Seb all the time but he hardly listens to me. He usually tells me off”, she admitted with a smile, but a sad look in her eyes that didn’t escape Kurt.
“So, tell me about you…”, she said as she opened the front door of the mansion.
As they entered, Kurt couldn’t concentrate enough on the answer she was expecting from him.

If Kurt thought that the exterior of the house was the most amazing thing he had ever seen, he had clearly been mistaken. He should have waited to see the inside. There was this magnificent hall
that led towards this huge lounge, dominated by a double grand staircase, facing the entrance. Kurt was so captured by the place that his brain stopped functioning properly. He walked with his nose up and, resisting no more, he exclaimed:
“Oh my god. Is that a crystal chandelier? Oh my gosh and that is a piano over there!”. Willa laughed. “Well, it actually is a decorative piano… the one we use… well, Sebastian uses, is in the private living room”.
“You have a decorative piano”
“And a private living room”
“Indeed. Well, actually that would be the formal one”
“I don’t follow”
“Well, it’s an etiquette thing… I don’t know… but there is a living room for formal, private events. Which is that one over there, with the piano”, she said pointing at a beautiful, warm room on their left.

“The one we just crossed, instead, it was the main one”, Willa explained, but Kurt kept looking at her confused.
“You know, the one you use when you host a party in the inside or have important dinners with I don’t know Senators or businessmen or investors”
“Okay. But FYI, normal people don’t usually host parties with Head of States”, he commented sarcastically.
“Oh really?”, Willa joked. “Anyway, there’s also the private private living room… which is where we hang out really.”, she concluded.
“I’m really confused”
“We are too. We are just good at faking it”, she winked. “Which is why we just hang out in here”, she said as they set foot in a cozy open space, where a beautiful homey kitchen that faced an even more homey and cozy living room.

“This place is… I don’t know… WOW!”, Kurt exclaimed, too overwhelmed by the beauty of the place to think of good manners. Then somewhat he could shake some sense in his brain
“Oh my god, I’m being inappropriate, aren’t I? I am sorry I am rambling since we got in here and I didn’t mean to-”
“Hey! What did I tell you about overthinking?”
“You’re right… just… I’m not used to all of this, which is another reason why I felt-”
“Out of place”
“Yes”, he answered honestly.
“It had happened to anyone here, at some point”, she told him with a smile and then said: “You know I… we are actually from NY. Hell, we’ve been newyorkers for generations. Born and raised in the big apple, all of us! so, here in the middle of Ohio, in the middle of the woods… it gets… we… I feel out of place all the time”, she admitted softly.
“I am sorry I… don’t want to sound prying but, why did you move here in the first place, can’t you move back to the big city? Or somewhere like that?”, he asked and Willa smiled sadly, sitting on the armrest of the big black sofa. Kurt was standing in front of her, giving his back to a living-room cabinet, stuffed with framed pictures.
“There is no other place like New York”, Willa said at last. Then, she sighed and went on “You know, when you love someone and he is not okay you… you are willing to do anything to make him feel better. It’s what one does when they care about a person, they make the toughest decisions for his own good… even if it means letting go of something important, even if it means sacrifice… you don’t give up on the one you love”
“no”, Kurt agreed softly. He totally got the point. –He just wished Blaine had a better hold of that saying. He wished Blaine hadn’t given up on him… But, deep down, he knew he had given up on them too.

But she wasn’t talking about Blaine, she was talking about her family. In the end, she wasn’t much more lost than Kurt in that big house, in that little city, in the middle of the woods in a closed-minded State.
It must have been rough for someone who had grown up in New York and that had always been used to living in a certain environment, in a certain dynamism and open-mindedness, just being thrown in Lima, Ohio. That could have explained why Sebastian was so obnoxious –He was probably feeling lost, lonely and may be also as if no one could possibly get him, Kurt speculated. He and this people had more in common than what he’d thought at a first glance. Still… What had happened that made some wealthy rooted newyorkers move to dull Lima, in the middle of death-boring Ohio, Kurt couldn’t possible figure it out. But, with this piece of information, the whole thing he had about Sebastian and his life had just reached another level of interest.

“So here we are”, Willa said lastly to him “It’s a big change and we cannot go back but, you know what I think? Sometimes change is good, sometimes change is everything… and yes, I am not used to this kind of life and I often feel out of place myself and I may not like it here and I may not know anyone but-”, her train of thoughts was interrupted by a bunch of screaming kids –aged between 9 to 11, according to Kurt– that barged in running through the private private living room. One of them bumped into Kurt and made him lose his balance and fall backwards towards the cabinet. As he hit it, one of the frames fell and its glass broke into million pieces.
“You Okay?”, Willa exclaimed as they kids left.
“Yes, Damned it! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to break anything”
“Don’t worry Kurt, it just matters that you’re okay! Those kids be damned! Stupid little-”

Kurt didn’t hear the rest of the rambling since he precipitated himself to clean the mess and contain the damages, if that could be possible. Willa must have noticed that, because she urged to say:
“Kurt! We have housemaids for that, leave it there, you may cut yourself!”, she exclaimed, bending herself to stop Kurt from trying to clean up that mess. Kurt was holding the broken frame in his hands. The damage was irreparable, but the picture (Of the Smythe’s siblings smiling bright at the camera) was fine.
“Here, the frame is gone but the picture is-”, he stopped in the middle of the sentence because something caught his attention. Behind the picture of the three of them, there was another one. This hidden picture showed a much younger, much happier Sebastian, laughing hardly as he looked with side eyes at another another boy –blonde, tousled hair, crooked grin– who was instead trying to hold a serious face –but failing at it completely. Sebastian had one arm across the other boy’s shoulder and God, he looked so blissful and carefree.

Kurt raised his questioning gaze to meet Willa’s, who was intently staring at the picture too. Her whole body was tensed and remained motionless for a while. Then she gently took the pictures from Kurt’s hands and stood up. She kept on staring at the hidden picture with a look that was saying 1.000 words –Kurt just wished to know which ones.

A few minutes passed, then she slowly turned her back to Kurt, put the pictures on a shelf of the cabinet (having care of placing the one of Sebastian and the young boy behind the other one) and, after a sigh, she turned again to face Kurt who was staring at her questioningly.

He wanted to ask a million questions, but none of them sounded appropriate. Thus, he said nothing. In the room an uncomfortable silence had fallen.

Kurt didn’t know then, but to Willa it was more than a frame that had crashed. It was Willa’s whole world that had crashed.
The frame could be seen as a metaphor: it doesn’t matter how far you run from your shadow, how much effort you put in hiding what you’d like to forget, because in the end it will all get back to you; and the unbreakable castle you built to feel safe, where everything’s great and bright, will be teared down, revealing itself to be made of unsteady, fragile glass.
You can’t run from your own shadow –you just have to learn to deal with it.


the title of the song was isnspired by this song: Sympathy for the Devil, The Clash

I imagined the Smythe’s estate to be somewhere along Red Bank Road, in the Hoover reservoir, outside Westerville (OH). It would be isolated, by a lake and confining to a wood.

Also, my vision of the Smythe's mansion is truly captured by the Tranquility mansion, Lake Tahoe.

Oliver “Ollie” Smythe is played by Jared Leto. In his younger, facial hair-less, short-haired version.

The boy in the photo is portrayed by Ansel Elgort.

Thanks to anyone who is following/liking/reblogging this fic. English is not my mother-tongue, so I try hard to revise it myself and I know that there will always be something that I miss. I am sorry for any mistake; feel free to signal them to me.

The title of this chapter (that was so long I had to split it in two) is inspired by this song: Sympathy for the devil, The Clash.

Also, this quote always inspired me a lot, and is in some ways related to this fic and this particular chapter, so I want to share its full version with you:

Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But here’s the truth: Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is… everything.
Grey’s Anatomy, S4E1.
21 July 2014 @ 03:47 pm
1. Should I stay or Should I go

Kurt was used to mental slap himself for thinking too much over things he should be letting go. However, one thing he wasn’t used to was forcing himself to push the thought of Sebastian away. He couldn’t help thinking about him, about what the hell had been wrong with him. He wondered if he was okay… in the end his car had hit a tree, and he had been lucky not to be seriously injured but who knew, he could have hidden his pain till he was alone with his sister. Anyway, the incident may not have hurt him, but something else did. What Kurt couldn’t erase from his mind was the look on Sebastian face, the stab he felt when he looked at him, as well as the expression Willa wore when she was looking at him.
Kurt had spent the whole weekend trying to push all those memories and worries away, but he really couldn’t. At one point he thought he could call Willa with an excuse and ask of Sebastian, so he spent a few hours planning what to say and how to handle things, before finally coming to his senses: he wasn’t going to call to check on Sebastian. He wasn’t. He wasn’t going to spend his energies thinking of him. He wasn’t. Or at least he was trying to.

On Sunday morning, he woke up with a revealing thought: As insane as it sounded, he couldn’t let go of Sebastian ‘till he knew he was okay. Even if he was mean and nasty and conceited and annoying and… Sebastian, he was still a person (or at least looked like it) and Kurt was a good soul. He decided to call Willa and be honest with her; he might tell her: “Hi, no the car is not ready I just wanted to know if your brother was okay. You know he looked really upset and shaken the other night” -or he might not, he mentally noted he should use a less lame choice of words.
Before he could think of what to say without sounding like and idiot to her, his father approached him.
“Hey kiddo, I was looking for you. You should call the young boy and tell him the car is ready, whenever he likes he can come and pick it up”, he announced, filling himself a glass a water.
“You mean Sebastian?”, Kurt asked, before correcting himself “Of course you mean him, sorry I wasn’t thinking. I have the number of his sister. I’ll call her”
“You’re acting weird lately”, his father admitted
“I just have a lot on my mind, I’m fine dad”
“You know, I am worried about you. And Carole is too. You spend a lot of time on your own and-”
“Dad, I told you, all my friends are away! Who am I supposed to spend my time with?”
“But that is not the only reason you look yourself in the room and barely talk to anyone, is it?”, Burt asked softly. Kurt did not answer, but looked at his feet instead.
“I know it is hard for you, but you either need to move on or move back, you know what I mean?”, he pointed out and Kurt nodded, still staring at his shoes.
“I just want to see you happy, Kurt”, he said coming closer to him
“I know that, thanks dad”, Kurt finally replied, hugging him. As he lay his head on his dad’s shoulder, he whispered “Since he- I’m feeling- I want to see myself happy too. It’s just that my whole life seems to be in a dead-end alley and I don’t know what to do anymore”, Kurt admitted. His father shifted to look at him in the eyes and told him tenderly:
“Now you are here and you have some time to think of your next steps and where you want them to be. But keep in mind that it does not do to dwell on old memories and forget to live”
“You’re sort of mis-quoting me Dumbledore?”
“I’m sort of trying to make you feel better. And I am sorry if I haven’t been around much”
“Dad, are you kiddin’ me, right? It’s your job! You have been working hard for me and for everyone out there! I am proud of you. I am proud of you whenever someone calls you or invites you to a meeting… I won’t tell you I wish we could spend more time together because that would be a lie but- I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand”, Kurt rambled. Burt smiled and said:
“Thank you and Kurt, I am proud of you too. Never forget that”
“I will not”, Kurt promised him hugging him tighter.

“I should make that phone call, now”, Kurt said at last. Burt smiled and let him go.

It had been refreshing talking to his dad. He really missed that, having one-to-one, heart-to-heart conversations with him. His thoughts, though, were interrupted by a female voice

“Hello? Is there anyone there?”
“Oh yeah sorry hi ”, he suddenly replied to the voice in the phone “Am I speaking to Willa, Willa…hem… Smythe?”
“You found her”, a jolly voice replied “What can I do for you, unknown caller, in this cloudy morning?” -he liked her
“I’m sorry to bother you but I’m Kurt. Kurt Hummel, you know… from the other night. Your brother kinda crashed at my place after my parents-”
“Oh yes! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you from your voice”, she cut him “How are you?”
“Oh I’m… good, what about you?” he hesitantly replied. –and how is Sebastian?, he could say that, it was the right moment to say it with nonchalance.
“I’m great thank you, you were so kind to ask”, –and Sebastian? how is he doing?
“And S-Listen”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get what you said”
“Hum the car, I was calling you because of the car. you know the car that-”
“My brother crashed to a tree, yeah I guessed it was about that one” she replied playfully, and he could have literally picture her winking at him and smiling,
“Yes, that one. Hum my father told me the car is ready for you to pick it up”
“Oh he fixed her that quickly?”
“He’s good at what he does” –that sounded bad “not that… anyway, you can come whenever you like”, he finished and heard her chuckle.
“What about this afternoon? Around 4 or so? Would you be at home if we came?”, she asked.
“We?” -did he really said it out loud?
“Yes, Seb and I. Or is it-“
“Of course! It’s fine, it’s fine!” , he cut her “I’ll tell my dad and we’ll wait for you this afternoon. At 4”
“Great!”, she exclaimed. “See you later and Kurt”, she added.
“He’s doing better, if you were asking” –at that point he could undoubtedly feel his ears getting redder and redder because of the embarrassment he felt.
“I wasn’t! I mean I was but-”, –What was wrong with his mouth and his brain?!. His ears were burning.
“I’ll see you later!” she said in a chuckle and hang up on him.

And that is how it ended the most embarrassing phone call of his entire existence.

“You really don’t know how to deal with women, do you?”, his father told him, popping his head out from the kitchen door and looking at Kurt, who was standing still in the living room. As he shook his head vigorously, Kurt’s ears became even redder, if that was possible.

“Just shut up!”, Kurt shouted. His father disappeared again in the kitchen and Kurt plunged into the sofa, hoping it could suck him into some fantasy wonderland that wasn’t his embarrassing life.

At 4 o’clock sharp the doorbell rang. It was Kurt who opened the door and welcomed Willa and Sebastian in.
“Hi! you’re here hmm… wait a second I’ll call my dad”, he said quickly and hushed upstairs calling his father. A few moments later they both went down.
“Hi, I’m Burt and you must be Willa, Sebastian’s sister”, he said. Willa smiled and added: “And you must be Kurt’s dad, our fabulous mechanic! Nice to meet you”.
Burt then turned his head towards Sebastian and said: “And Sebastian, Hi, I hope you are doing…fine?”, he asked hesitant. Sebastian limited himself to smile and feebly nod. He was standing next to Willa, though a little bit behind –Kurt noticed; as if he wanted to keep his distance –but from what?. Willa looked at her brother with apprehension and then spoke:
“Thank you really much for your help”.
“No problem, really”, Burt replied. A strange silence fell on them and Willa, in order to quickly change the subject, exclaimed:
“I heard the baby is ready to go!”
“Yeah, the car, sure! It took me a while but now it is like brand-new. Here I’ll show you!”, he responded. He showed the way towards the car and they quickly followed him outside. Kurt didn’t know what do. What was he supposed to do?

In the end, what he referred to as ‘curiosity’ was biting him so hard he couldn’t resist more and so he reached the trio.
There was something in Sebastian that intrigued him. Well not in Sebastian himself, but rather in the whole story that surrounded him –he justified himself.

He spotted them immediately, all gathered next to a marvelous silver ford mustang. At least he had some taste –he thought.

As he came closer to the group, he noticed his dad was gently shaking his head:
“There is no need to, you have already thanked me long enough”, he was saying.
“Oh but I insist”, Willa was replying him
“Well, I need to be DC again this Tuesday, but-“, he added as he saw Kurt “Kurt here I am sure he won’t mind some company, Kurt! you should go”
“I should go where?”, he replied confused.
“To our pool party! This Tuesday. Around six. Nothing too wild, don’t worry… our parents are involved! And you are more than welcomed to come and join us!”, Willa announced him, smiling widely. Sebastian expression, though, was a mixture between bother and anger.
“I, I am not sure. And I don’t know anybody”
“You know us”, Willa pointed out.
“Oh, come one kiddo, remember our talk later? You should go. You’ll make new friends. I’m sure”, his father said, giving him a meaning full look. He couldn’t have refused himself to go even if he had been dying.
Sebastian was looking at him with a face that was screaming: “don’t you dare say yes”, Willa on the other hand was staring at him expectantly. In the end he sighed and, resigned to his doom, accepted the offer:
“Okay, I’ll be there”
“Awesome!”, commented Willa joyfully. Sebastian, instead, didn’t seem joyful at all.
“So I’ll text you the directions! Is yours the number you called me from, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah yeah”, Kurt replied distractedly. His attention had been focused on Sebastian who, unexpectedly, had been looking right in front of him. The piercing gaze was a family business –Kurt noted. Willa and Burt looked at them and then at each other, probably thinking they knew only half of the whole story.

So they parted and he remained still watching them leave, Sebastian in his Mustang and Willa in her White Bentley (appropriate choices, he thought) just after they said their goodbyes to him and Burt. Well, Willa did. Sebastian just waved faintly. He hadn’t muttered a word the whole time and this peaked Kurt’s interest even more. He was curious to know what was on his mind.
It was not as if he interested him, not at all.
He was curios, and that was all. That was all.


Title inspired by: “Should I stay or Should I go” , The Clash

Also, I’ll try and update asap, probably once a week or so.

As always, your thoughts and opinions and corrections are more than welcomed
Into the Night (with me)

Author: bluejeanzangel
Discalimer: I own nothing
Rating: G
Paring: Kurtbastian
Summary: Set in the summer after Kurt’s first year of college. He and Blaine still don’t talk to each other and his life is in a blind alley. Some unexpected circumstances will lead Sebastian to Kurt’s door step, asking for help. Some unexpected circumstances will bring Kurt and Sebastian closer. None of them could have predicted how much their lives would have been shaken upside-down because of the other.
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It’s funny how slowly can days go by when all you wish for is they come to an end quickly; when you feel out of place and you’d rather run somewhere else – but you have nowhere to go and feel stuck. It’s funny how slowly your life seems to be moving when everyone else’s is speeding on. And you feel left behind. But what’s more funny, is how a simple flap of a butterfly's wings can later on be the cause of a whirling tornado.

It’s a windy spring night, halfway through May. Outside is unusually cold, but inside of Kurt it feels as cold as usual. As usual since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named cheated on him. It’s been months but he simply cannot get over their break-up. He knew he has some blame, that he’d been selfish and self absorbed but- Kurt shakes his head. He should stop thinking about it, he really should. But it’s easier said than done. How is he supposed to erase him, them from memory and move on?
He can’t help but feel lost and cold, as if the best and warmest part of him had been abruptly taken away. Will things ever go back to normal? Will he ever trust someone? Will someone ever love him again? Will he and- Enough said – he scolds. Every day he wakes up asking himself if the next day he’ll feel better. He spends the day hoping tomorrow will be the day, the day he’ll finally have his life back. And every night he falls asleep knowing that the next day will be exactly like the previous one, but that doesn’t stop him from hoping. “After all... tomorrow is another day”, Rossella O’hara used to say. But he keeps wondering why tomorrow can’t be an other day. Since the spring semester ended and he came back home from NYADA, all of the things he pushed away, all of the thoughts he refused to think just came up all together, overwhelming him. Moreover, having to spend a lot of time alone wasn’t helpful at all. His dad and Carole were often to DC, due to his father’s duties as congressman; Finn had flown to NY to spend the summer break with Rachel, since she got a part into a broadway show and couldn’t afford to leave even just for a day to come home. Santana was away with Brittany, cut out from the entire world (how romantic of them, how he envied them). Sam was working at GAP to save some money for college (in the end he got accepted to Ohio State University). Mercedes was in LA, busy with her record label, Quinn was at Yale and Tina at Brown (and there they’ll remain for summer courses) and Artie was still in NY, doing an internship in a video games developing firm. And Kurt? Kurt was stuck, going nowhere, having nowhere to go. Everyone was moving on with their lives, everyone seemed to have a purpose, a direction where to go. Whereas he… he was standing still. Hopelessly stuck, feeling miserable since his life and career seemed to have bumped into a dead end street, and he had no fuel left to put into reverse and go back on track.

His train of thoughts is interrupted by the sound of his dad’s car parking in the driveway. Finally, they were home. He precipitates towards the entry, wanting to receive some warm hugs before finally going to bed. He felt tired, not that he had nothing much to do during the day besides thinking, but apparently that was wiring him out. He would have gone to bed earlier, but couldn’t fall asleep with the thought of the two of them on their way home; mostly because his father’s phone was dead, as usual (too many phone calls for a single man) and Carole had forgotten hers at home. Kurt wears his best smile, hoping that would hide all his worries from his father, and impatiently waits for them to open the door.
The door does open, but the smile on Kurt’s face drops almost instantly, substituted to a puzzled expression. And everything that had happened after, Kurt would later on swear he dreamt it. It couldn’t have been true. It was everything too surreal to be true. But that’s how life is. Surprisingly unexpected.

Carole and Burt did enter, but they were not alone. A boy whose face he could never erase from his mind approached behind them. As they came closer his confusion grew stronger. A clearly shaken Sebastian Smythe had just entered his home, at 11 p.m., with his parents. Carole had an arm around his back, and on his shoulder lay what he instantly recognizes as a woolen ysl scarf, 2002 winter collection. Kurt himself had chosen that scarf as gift for Carole’s 50’s birthday. It had took him 2 weeks to chose the appropriate brand, pattern and texture (but in the end he partaged the idea with Burt and Finn, who were lacking of ideas, and it became their gift).
Before he could open his mouth to speak, Burt said:
“Kurt, this is Sebastian. Long story short, in the middle of nowhere, somewhere near Wheeling he lost control of his car and hit a tree, nothing too bad”, he added as he saw Kurt expression “But the car won’t start and his mobile broke. Luckily for him we were passing by that very street and helped him out. We dragged his car behind and tomorrow I’ll have a look at it. In the meanwhile could you give him a phone to call someone to pick him up? Mine had died and Carole’s”
“Is at home”, Kurt cut him. “Here, you can use mine”, Kurt said, handing him his mobile. Sebastian took a step forward and grabbed his phone, smiling feebly.
As he moved towards the living room to make a call, Carole approached Kurt and muttered:
“I don’t know what was wrong with him, he was standing still in the cold air. You should have seen him, his gaze was icy and empty and his skin so cold. Who knows what had happened. He barely talked to us”, Kurt could feel the worry in her tone, as she talked: “We are very tired and should go to bed if we want to wake up tomorrow for work, but would you keep an eye on him? Making him a cup of coffee perhaps? I don’t know, just…don’t leave him alone”, she went on with a stern look on her face. Before Kurt could say anything, Sebastian came back.
“My sister is picking me up, it’ll take her some time, though”, he announced.
“Stay here as long as you need to, dear. I told you we could have driven you home”, Carole commented.
“it’s too far away, you’ve already done enough for me, believe me. Just, my sister will be here in a hour or so”
“That’s okay, make yourself at home. Just we’re going to get some sleep now…but Kurt here will keep you company”, Burt tells him
“Thanks, there was no need to, really”
“Enough said. Goodnight kiddo!”, Burt replied.
“Oh and, we’ll let you know about the car. Goodnight honeys”, Carole intervened. Sebastian smiled and waved them goodnight. Carole kissed goodnight to Kurt, and Burt gave him a quick hug, before heading off to their bedroom. And now he and Sebastian were alone.

From the moment that door opened, till the last remark made by Carole, he had felt… lost. And out of place, like all of a sudden he wasn’t in his own home, what he was seeing wasn’t really happening and Sebastian Smythe, Sebastian Smythe, wasn’t really standing there, wrapped in Carole’s scarf, conversing with them. The whole situation was surreal, the whole conversation had been surreal. And now he was alone with the Spawn of Satan. In a different context he would have feared for his life, or his clothes at least, but right then he just felt disoriented. And rather uncomfortable.

“Hmm do you want to sit? The sofa is over there”, Kurt asked him. Sebastian rose his head and looked him into the eyes. His gaze on him felt like a stab to Kurt. He hadn’t truly understood what Carole meant about him earlier, till he saw with his own eyes. Sebastian was looking at Kurt, but he wasn’t. His eyes were frozen, emotionless, empty. He was in front of him, but he wasn’t really there.

In the end, Sebastian looked away and shrugged, following Kurt as he sighed and hesitantly lead him towards the living room.

They sat in silence, as the awkwardness of the whole situation seemed to grow bigger with every minute passed. In the end, Kurt turned on the TV to find Timm Gunn from Project Runway explaining the challenge of the day to the wanna-be stylists.
Kurt saw Sebastian roll his eyes, but he didn’t say a word. Something was definitely wrong. As they sat on the sofa, one on each side (as far away from each other as they could), Kurt took some time to study his figure, slightly lighted by a small lamp. He was wearing a pair of sandy trousers and a short-sleeved light blue shirt. He looked tired and… sad. That simple acknowledgment struck Kurt, and made him realize Sebastian may be more human than he could think. Or at least he could look more human.

“Are you okay?”, Kurt asked in the end, but Sebastian didn’t answer him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”, Kurt kept looking at him expectantly, but Sebastian was ignoring him. “Well, if you wanted to-”
“I wouldn't come to you.” Sebastian cut him, sighing angrily and slowly turning his face towards Kurt. “So stop bothering me. Your high pitched voice gives me headache”, he added. Kurt snapped his tongue and stood up saying:
“You really are an ass, you know?”
“And you really are an annoying little pageant, you know?” Sebastian replied. Kurt stormed off to the kitchen and pressed his front against a cupboard. -Stupid conceited brat, he kept on thinking. He had left the room because he couldn’t fight a second more the urge to punch him in the face. And that was not the greatest way to deal with him, with the absurdity of the whole situation. He had to keep calm. Since his new philosophy of life was: “indifference is one’s best weapon”, he decided the best way to handle Sebastian was to ignore him and his nastiness. So, he made coffee and returned with a steaming cup for Sebastian too.
“Here’s yours. You’re welcome” he said to a bewildered Sebastian. At least -Kurt thought- he had managed to confuse him enough to shut him up. Sebastian rose his eyebrows and took the coffee without saying a word. After a while, he spoke:
“You are so cliché. Project Runway? I mean, come on!”. Kurt shook his head:
“We are not watching porn, if that’s what you are suggesting”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare miss the fun, princess” - At least something was normal -Kurt thought- the beaten up version of Sebastian gave him the creeps; at least he could be like his old self if he wanted to. Or act like his old self, he found himself observing.
“Oh, stop it!” Kurt replied throwing a pillow to Sebastian, who caught it with a chuckle.
“I apologize for upsetting you, your highness!”, Sebastian retorted miming a bow and smirking at Kurt. . Even if his mouth was half smiling – or rather smirking – his eyes were not participating, Kurt noted. As if his brain noted the dissonance too, his smirk slowly became sadder and faded away. Sebastian turned his head away from Kurt, staring intently at the mug in his hands and, all of a sudden, a heavy silence fell on them. Kurt kept staring at Sebastian, while Sebastian kept his gaze on the mug. After a while, Sebastian spoke:
“I’ll be fine”, and threw his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes.
At that point, Kurt really didn’t know what to do. In the time he had spent with Sebastian he had seen at least a dozen shades of his personality, and couldn’t help but ask himself what more there was behind him. His nastiness repulsed him, but his personality was after all interesting. -He should have been really tired for letting a thought like that cross his mind. He shook his head, trying to shook his thoughts away too, and imitated Sebastian resting his head on back on the sofa, occasionally sipping from the mug in his hands. They sat like that for a while, in total silence, with the noise of the television in the background. Their vigilance slowly faded, leaving place for tiredness to grow, which slowly lead them in a comfy drowsiness.
Kurt was abruptly awoken by some decise but hushed knocks coming from the front door. He turned towards Sebastian, who wore a look which wasn’t unfamiliar to Kurt: he looked as if he had been abruptly thrown into a reality he wanted to escape from. And Kurt knew something about it. Hell if he knew.
Kurt stood up and went to open the front door. A pair of piercing green eyes met him. They belonged to a beautiful young lady, in her early twenties, stunning in a navy blue gown
“I’m Willa, Seb’s sister. Thank you very much for helping us, I came asap! Where is he?”, she asked with a worried face.
“He’s in the living-room, I’ll show you, come on in”, Kurt told her “I’m Kurt, by the way”. She smiled back to him. As they reached the living-room he pointed at Sebastian, sat still on the sofa. The expression on Willa’s face was a mixture between fondness and worry. She approached the sofa, then bent in front of him and took his hands. They looked at each other and kurt would have paid millions to know what they were saying to each other. He couldn’t see Sebastian from where he was standing, but her expression was unreadable. It seemed as if she was looking at something that had been broken, wishing it could be fixed but knowing the chances were thin.
“Let’s go”, she told him tenderly and helped him get up, putting her arm around his shoulders -as if she could protect him from Kurt-knows-what. It was a very fond scene which warmed Kurt’s heart. As they were leaving, Willa thanked Kurt again and then stopped as if she remembered something important.
“May I use them?”, she asked pointing at the block of post-its and the pens scattered on the telephone desk.
“Hum sure”, replied Kurt -but not that much sure of her intentions. She quickly grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a telephone number on it.
“Here’s, call me when it’s ready”, she exclaimed. Kurt kept looking at her puzzled. “The car?”, she suggested.
“Oh! Yes! Sure! Sorry I… It’s late and I”, he started apologizing. In the confusion of the whole night he had forgotten the very reason because Sebastian landed in his living-room in the first place.
“It’s okay. Goodnight and… thanks, again”, Willa cut him.
“My pleasure” he responded politely -actually it hadn’t been his pleasure at all.

He waited for them to get into the car and leave before closing the door and leaning against it. -What had just happened?.
His tiredness was wearing him, thus with the few energies left he walked upstairs towards his room.
As he later lay in bed, he would have replayed the events of the night over and over again before finally giving in to sleep. It had felt like he was suddenly part of something bigger, an actor thrown in the middle of a show without knowing the script.
Again, that’s exactly how life is: a movie without a script. But maybe that’s for the best; have you ever wondered what could have happened if you had know what was coming next in your life, if you already knew the direction where to go before even finding yourself at a crossroad?
How many things would have been different if you knew their consequences? But, at the same time, how many unexpected beautiful things you would have missed, how many places you wouldn’t have discovered, how many friendships you wouldn’t have bumped into, if you hadn’t stumbled into the unknown?

Kurt that night did wonder all those things, but found himself to tired to give himself an answer.

Later in time, he would have admitted to himself that the best things in his life came from what at one time seemed to be the worst decisions he could have ever made. After all, “You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true”. (oth)

The title, Into the Night, is inspired by the song "All of our stars" (Ed sheer an) 

The whole fic was inspired by this song: "Close your eyes" (Michael Bublé)

Willa is played by Willa Holland

So, what did you think? Should I continue? Should I find a beta? Should I give up? I have a lot on my mind, but I want to hear your opinions first!
08 December 2013 @ 09:54 pm
Originally posted by sebastiansgleek at Mochas and Meerkats 2
Sebastian takes the boys to Scandals and things go a little wrong for Blaine.
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08 December 2013 @ 09:45 pm
Originally posted by sebastiansgleek at Mochas and Meerkats
This is my take on what should have happened when they first met at the Lima Bena!!!! Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. Just the plot.

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14 August 2013 @ 09:48 pm
Author: mothergoddamn
Pairing/characters: Kurt//Sebastian
Rating: Teen & Up
Summary: AU: Film star Kurt Hummel is the hottest thing on screen in the Roaring Twenties, as is his new co-star Sebastian Smythe. But can the two get past their hatred and continue their chemistry off screen?

Read Say it Out Loud
16 June 2013 @ 07:16 pm
Title; Only With You
Fandom; Glee
Words; 4025 Words
Rating; R
Warnings; Explicit sex.
Characters; Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Prompt; One of their mutual friends just had a baby and Kurt and Sebastian go to visit them. Kurt coos over the baby but Sebastian is uncomfortable. When they get home Sebastian is still moody and pissy. Kurt confronts him and Sebastian admits that he's worried that Kurt is going to want to have kids now. He assumes that Kurt will dump him because he doesn't think he would make a good father. Kurt tries to comfort him as Sebastian reveals all his insecurities. Kurt reassure him that if he's going to have a family he wants it to be with Sebastian. by jackiebobby at glee_kink_meme
Summary; Kurt and Sebastian visit Sugar and her new baby. Sebastian is tense but doesn't ruin the visit, only revealing his insecurities about his and Kurt's life together once they get home. Kurt reassures him that Sebastian is his forever.
Notes; The sex is only a really small part of this as I chose to focus on the emotional aspects of it. Hope it worked out okay. And my first time writing Sebastian paired with anybody so hope that worked too.

Livejournal | Fanfiction.net | ao3

I need an author tag please.
14 June 2013 @ 06:57 am

TITLE: But We Do - Chapter 7
PAIRING: Kurt / Sebastian
RAITING: PG-13 (for this part)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee. The characters belong to their copyright holder.
GENRE/SUMMARY: AU / Kurt ends up moving in with Sebastian after his boyfriend breaks up with him. How bad is going to be?
BETA'D BY: Takeyoufromthecynicsinthistown (She's been amazing!)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: English is not my native language. All mistakes are mine. This work is loosely based on the movie Someone Like You.

LiveJournalTumblrArchive of Our Own

11 May 2013 @ 03:02 am

TITLE: But We Do - Chapter 6
PAIRING: Kurt / Sebastian
RAITING: PG-13 (for this part)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee. The characters belong to their copyright holder.
GENRE/SUMMARY: AU / Kurt ends up moving in with Sebastian after his boyfriend breaks up with him. How bad is going to be?
BETA'D BY: Takeyoufromthecynicsinthistown
AUTHOR'S NOTES: English is not my native language. All mistakes are mine. This work is loosely based on the movie Someone Like You.

Read it on:  AO3LiveJournalTumblr

EDIT: The post on LiveJournal had been cencelled, I don't know how.. so I edited this post to add the link to the new post.